Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
