I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
