Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So much rum. So many feels.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
