evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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