you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
