i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
