We won't sleep together?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
