I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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