Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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