I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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