Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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