what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
