I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
high people should be assigned attendants
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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