What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
accomplished twins. life is a go
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So vagazzling was a success
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