hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
