we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
