Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
