eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
