Sry I called you an 8
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
