Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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