I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You were trust falling into bushes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
