For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
