Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
