You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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