Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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