remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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