so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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