I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
