Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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