She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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