Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
