dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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