she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
