i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
