I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
