is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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