the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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