Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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