You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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