Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
