..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she pinky promised me she was 18
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
