My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
