I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize