I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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