Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think i have two assholes
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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