my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize