the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
