I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm really into asian looking animals
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
