Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
