Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
