Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
