And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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