A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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