...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Found your dick twin last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
