If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
