I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
zippers are such a cool invention
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
