I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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