I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
